Court Prep Checklist — What to Bring, What to Say, What to Leave Out¶

For your first contested hearing on PA-related matters. Adapt to your jurisdiction.

Two weeks before¶

[ ] Final witness list confirmed with lawyer. Each witness has a reason — the judge will ask.
[ ] Documentary exhibits indexed chronologically and thematically. Most jurisdictions require both.
[ ] Mock cross-examination with lawyer or a trusted friend playing opposing counsel. You should be able to stay calm when triggered.
[ ] Read the latest case in your jurisdiction on PA from case-law. The judge has likely read it too.

[ ] Print three copies of everything (you, lawyer, judge). Bind by tab.
[ ] Confirm court time, room, parking. Arrive 45 minutes early.
[ ] Decide your wardrobe. Subdued, professional, comfortable. Nothing the other side can frame as performative.
[ ] Notify employer of full-day absence — last-minute requests look bad.
[ ] Arrange childcare for any children not in court. Pre-arrange backup transport if hearings overrun.

[ ] No alcohol. Light meal. Sleep early.
[ ] Re-read your own witness statement twice. Note any phrasing you'd update if asked.
[ ] Pack: documents, water bottle, snack bar, charger, notepad, two black pens, ID, parking change/card.
[ ] Plan your route including transit failure backup.

Item	Why
Indexed binder of exhibits	So you can find any document in <10 sec
Witness statements	Yours + every supporting witness
Timeline document	One page, dates and key events; judges love these
Children's school reports / medical letters	Independent third-party evidence
Communication logs	Print of texts/emails, hi-lit for the relevant lines
Notepad + pen	For notes during opposing testimony
Tissues	You may need them. So might the other side.

Social media printouts of the other parent unless lawyer specifically requested (looks petty)
Recordings the other parent doesn't know you made (jurisdictional minefield)
The children themselves unless ordered
Friends/family unless ordered (overcrowded gallery distracts the judge)
Strong opinions about the other parent's mental health — leave diagnosis to experts

You are not there to prove the other parent is evil. You are there to demonstrate three things:

The child's relationship with you is being damaged (point to specific evidence)
You have behaved reasonably and child-focused throughout (point to documented attempts at engagement)
There is a concrete order the court can make that would help (be specific — therapeutic intervention, contact schedule, evaluator)

Everything you say should serve one of those three. If a sentence doesn't — cut it.

"She always…" / "He never…" (absolutes are fragile under cross)
"It's obvious that…" (insults the judge's reasoning)
"Parental alienation syndrome" (use behaviors not syndromes unless an expert is testifying)
"I just want what's best for the kids" (everyone says this — show, don't tell)

Pause before answering. Two seconds. Lets your lawyer object.
Answer the question asked. Not the question you wish was asked.
"I don't recall" is a complete answer if true. Don't guess under oath.
Stay calm at provocations. Opposing counsel will push for emotional reactions. Each time you stay even, you win a small credibility point.
It's okay to say "Could you clarify what you mean by [term]?" if a question is ambiguous.

See also: Templates for sample witness-statement structures, evaluator-request letters, and BIFF-pattern communications.