What Is a Guardian Ad Litem — The Person Who Decides Whether You Get to Be Your Child's Parent¶
TL;DR. There is one person in your custody case who isn't your lawyer, isn't the judge, and substantially shapes whether you get to be your child's parent. Same role, different names by jurisdiction: GAL (US) · Children's Guardian (UK CAFCASS) · avocat de l'enfant (Belgium Civil Code Art. 931) · Independent Children's Lawyer (Australia Family Law Act s. 68L). They are evaluating insight, self-regulation, child-focus, willingness to facilitate the other parent's relationship, evidence over emotion, and whether you use the meeting to litigate or to parent.
Author: Alan Markson · Last reviewed: 2026-05-15 · License: CC BY 4.0 Originally published at antialienate.com/blog/what-is-a-guardian-ad-litem.
Same role, different names by jurisdiction¶
| Jurisdiction | Name | Statutory anchor |
|---|---|---|
| US | Guardian ad Litem (GAL) | varies by state; "attorney for the child" in NY |
| UK | Children's Guardian (CAFCASS) | Children Act 1989 |
| Belgium | avocat de l'enfant | Civil Code Art. 931 + Loi du 30 juillet 2013 |
| Australia | Independent Children's Lawyer (ICL) | Family Law Act 1975 s. 68L |
The job is identical: represent the child's interests in proceedings — not yours, not your ex's, not the system's.
What a GAL DOES¶
- Interviews each parent (separately)
- Interviews the child
- Visits each home
- Reviews school + medical records
- Speaks to teachers, therapists, family witnesses
- Writes a recommendation that the court will almost certainly follow
What a GAL does NOT do¶
- Provide therapy
- Mediate disputes
- Litigate on your behalf
- Decide custody (that's the judge)
- Take "sides" (in their training)
- Investigate criminal allegations
If your GAL is doing any of items 1–3, that's a red flag worth raising with your attorney.
What they're actually evaluating in YOU (the part nobody tells you)¶
- Insight — does this parent see their role in the conflict?
- Self-regulation — does this parent flip when challenged?
- Child-focus — does every answer come back to the child?
- Willingness to facilitate the other parent's relationship — this carries enormous weight
- Evidence over emotion
- Whether you use the meeting to litigate or to parent
7 things to do BEFORE your first GAL meeting¶
- Tab through your documentation chronologically
- Prepare a 1-page child profile (medical, school, friends, routines, concerns)
- Know the GAL's professional background (LinkedIn, bar profile)
- Have a clean, child-friendly home for the visit
- Practice answering "What concerns you most about the other parent?" — calmly, factually, briefly
- Review the BIFF method (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm)
- Sleep
5 things to NEVER do¶
- Talk over the GAL
- Use the meeting to relitigate the divorce
- Bad-mouth the other parent gratuitously
- Bring the child a "prepared statement" or coached talking points
- Ask the GAL "whose side are you on?" — they will note it
Belgian-specific note¶
The avocat de l'enfant under Belgian Civil Code Art. 931 (as reformed by the Loi du 30 juillet 2013 establishing the family court) is appointed by the family court upon request or on the court's own motion when the interests of the child diverge from the parents'. Free at point of use for the child. Underused — request one explicitly when alienation is documented.
Source-blog hyperlinks¶
| Live URL | Title |
|---|---|
| antialienate.com/blog/what-is-a-guardian-ad-litem | What Is a Guardian Ad Litem |
Related entries¶
- posts/19-custody-evaluators-prepare.md (seed)
- posts/51-documenting-pa-comprehensive.md — evidence framework
- posts/45-coparenting-with-alienator.md — containment protocols
Citations¶
- AFCC — Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (GAL practice standards)
- National Association of Counsel for Children (NACC) — model GAL standards
- US Children Act 1989; CAFCASS practice direction
- Belgian Civil Code Art. 931; Loi du 30 juillet 2013 (BE)
- Australian Family Law Act 1975 s. 68L
- Troxel v. Granville, 530 U.S. 57 (2000) — parental rights baseline
Disclaimer¶
Educational content. Not legal advice. Consult licensed family-law counsel in your jurisdiction.
Author byline: Alan Markson · License: CC BY 4.0 · Originally published at antialienate.com.